It's taken me a year to get to the right place to write this, but I think it fitting that there should be some sort of tribute to one of the most inspirational beings I have ever encountered in my life: Duke Alvarez. A few of you may be familiar with Duke from my album Happy To Be Here. He not only provided his voice for the song He Can Fly, but also the overall inspiration for that album along with my wife Wendy and our happy time. For many reasons, the days I spent with Duke will remain the highlight of my life.
Let me tell you just a little about Duke (or maybe a lot). Duke was a middle-aged male tabby cat who belonged to my neighbor. He had a soft white stomach and a gray striped back with center black stripe that went all the way to the end of his tail. He was omnipresent on my block and I would get such joy from watching him. He knew everyone and acted like the local mayor, greeting all who entered our domain.
Legend has it that he showed up on my street many years ago as a hungry stray and adopted it as his turf. When his home life was altered through his owners adoption of new animals, Duke began spending more time at my house. Very soon it became his ritual to spend everyday with me, from 7am till maybe 10 or 11pm. Everyday he walked to my house and waited for me to wake up. When I wasn't home or awake he held a stoic vigil on my doorstep. For my part, I became his watchful friend, trying to keep him out of trouble. Let me tell you, it was not a chore, but a privilege.
Duke enjoyed interacting with me and my wife and he really enjoyed eating. He had a special seat at our table and was always allowed to sample our food (as long as he stayed off the table). With one exception (when he lost his mind over a piece of tuna) he was very well mannered. Duke also really loved taking naps at my house, especially if I would sing him to sleep. The look on his face when I sang was perhaps the greatest compliment I have ever received. Just to hear me talk seemed to fill him with a sense of security and the ability to really relax. He also really loved my music and would curl up in my office while I worked on songs.
Nevertheless, Duke was no pussycat. He was a wanderer and would go off on wild adventures sometimes blocks and blocks away from our home. He was even abducted by a passerby once and returned only after my neighbor forked over a fistful of dollars. As I became more attached to him, I also became more worried that he would disappear. He loved to fight and kill birds and mice and rats and probably other things too. He was a real tough guy filled with bravado and machismo. He truly relished his role as a tom cat supreme.
However, the aspect I found most inspirational about Duke was his desire to live life on his own terms. If his life wasn't what he wanted at his home, he'd find another home. If there wasn't food he liked, he go off in search of food he did like. He had a restless spirit, but his more admirable traits were his friendliness, generosity and sincere emotional depth. When he looked into your eyes, you knew you were seeing the real Duke, and he the real you. As he and I both approached middle-age, I could tell that acceptance of our respective lots in life was a difficult pill to swallow.
I guess I spent four or five years really knowing Duke. One year ago on July 2nd, 2004 he disappeared and I've only seen him in my dreams since. The night before he left, I gave him his favorite meal of chicken and I kissed him goodbye. I closed the door and he looked at me for the last time. I wish I never had to say goodbye. There was someone employed to take care of him while my neighbor was away and when I went to collect him at 6am the next morning he was gone without a trace. I still don't know what happened to my friend and no one involved with his care will be honest with me. Their only concern is with protecting themselves. His absence not only haunts me to this day, but it also fills me with a sadness I have never known before. I really miss my friend.
In the last year, I have tried to not only hold it together, but to put it all back in place. I adopted a new friend through an agency called Kitten Rescue and, if you have some love to give, I urge you too to adopt a cat in need of a home. I do my best for Page Porrazo (named after my late friend who died of cancer) who is a big adult black long haired tom cat. We've had some ups and downs, but are trying everyday to make it work. He doesn't know what happened in the past to me, nor I to him (he was rescued from a kill shelter). It's a tough thing 'cause a big part of my heart will always belong to Duke. I really imagined that someday Duke and I would get into my car (like on the back of Happy To Be Here) and ride off into the sun down the hill towards High Tower and then to a place where we could be happy forever. I guess we can't go there together, but maybe I'll get there on my own someday.
Duke, if you are out there, I really miss you and I'll never forget our happy time.
